Friday, April 26, 2002

i'm back (how could i stay away?)

So...I happened upon this old journal again. How is it that I only come here when I have other stuff I should be doing? Anyway, I'm supposed to be writing a paper again, but this one is way overdue and going to be seriously penalized. I might as well not take the course anymore.

I've never been quite so dead in my life. I'm fearful. Hold me.

Anyway, the comments script is down, since it's so old. But reading my old entries has inspired me a bit. So at least some good comes out of this.

who am i, anyway? (am i my résumé?)

Yeah, I never saw "A Chorus Line," but I like that lyric. And it's ever-so pertinent right now.

The very idea of having to encapsulate myself in a two-page résumé sickens me. Not because I think, "I'm so vibrant; I can't be bound by paper and ink!", but because I realize how directionless and meaningless everything I've done is. I need a summer job, and it's killing me because I can't find anything. I've been going to all these workshops on how to write a winning résumé, how to ace your interview, blah bling bloo. But I feel that it's all useless, because I'm the most unemployable person in the world. That's not exactly true, but it's how I feel when I look at all my friends who have good jobs. Not jobs being bitched at because you overcharged 50 cents on the butter, or where you have to start at 5:30 a.m. Just nice, normal jobs.

I worked out of an office last summer, but I spent minimal time actually in the office. Oh, how I envied those office kids. I'd come in out of the heat, sweating from walking around all day, and I'd see the girls in their cute little skirts, drinking Fruitopia and casually filing papers. Every day, I'd watch this one girl come in, sit at her desk in the corner, do her work quietly, eat an apple at her desk, chat with a few folks, and go home. She had her own desk, and she was sorting important files, so she could put a sign on her desk that said "Don't Touch!" How nice to have space of your own, and a civilized job, where you are treated as a human being. I would love a desk job. To me, it wouldn't be boring. It would be true love.

Tuesday, April 16, 2002

lofty ambitions (we are such stuff as dreams are made on)

Books I plan to read this summer:

Ana Historic - Daphne Marlatt
Possession - A.S. Byatt
Tess of the D'Ubervilles - Thomas Hardy
Wide Sargasso Sea - Jean Rhys
North and South - Elizabeth Gaskell

As you can tell, I'm into Victorian and "postmodern" Victorian novels. The Marlatt is a book recommended to me by my English prof as a cap to the seminar on postcolonial writers. Let me know if you have any other recommendations.

success (the sweet smell)


In related news, I'm now officially pathetic. Again.

obsession (more than a fragrance)

I'm officially obsessed with trying to get my blog to show up on as being recently updated.

Just in case you couldn't tell.

phew (google ga ga)
assures me that there is no "Which Muppet Baby Are You?" quiz in existence.


soaring (everything's going to be alright)

Reading some Lucille Clifton poetry right now. Love her. I'm trying to incorporate it into my essay, and it's working.

I like this little documentary about the writing of my essay. It would be oh-so-meta if I handed these comments in along with my paper. Don't know how my prof would feel about that, though. But seriously, wouldn't it be cool to do a "making-of" documentary for the larger essays and projects you work on, so your prof would know all the toil you went through?

Well, I think it's a good idea.

Monday, April 15, 2002

linkage (hook it up)

Some sites I visit frequently:

Tomato Nation: Sars is so much cooler than I will ever be.
Television Without Pity: Guilty pleasures galore.
Fametracker: Snarky commentary on the cult of celebrity.
FBOFW: I've been reading this for as long as I can remember.
Sparknotes: Every English student's best friend. Classic texts online and more.
Voice of the Shuttle: The most comprehensive Humanities website in existence.

hair (long, beautiful hair)

I am looking to get my hair "thermally reconditioned." It's a reverse perm that leaves your hair stick straight, even in humidity, without blowdrying. I have somewhat wavy hair (not wavy enough that it looks nice), and spend half an hour blowdrying every day, only for it to frizz up a few hours later. The only thing is, this process costs anywhere from $100-750. Yes, $750. I'm trying to find an affordable, yet reputable salon in the Vancouver area that does this. I'm told those that cater to Asian clients, specifically Koreans, are the ones to look for. If you know of one, leave me a comment with your e-mail address--I'd be eternally grateful.

burn, baby, burn (journal inferno)

Maybe if I post something incendiary, someone will actually respond to what I have to say. And so I submit for your proposal: Mr. Rogers creeped me out as a child. Besides the cardigans and the gentle (yet unsettling) voice, there was the issue of the Neighbourhood itself. King Friday, a puppet, had a human for a daughter. Explain that to me. And the train made "choo choo" noises to communicate. I was always glad when he had a visitor to his house because I was reassured that we weren't witnessing the delusions of a recluse.

vows (or, promises that will be broken)

I'm going to try my best never to resort to posting those silly questionnaire things a lot of bloggers do. I know I'll regret saying this, because I'll probably eventually run out of things to talk about and late one night I'll be dazzled enough by some "Which Muppet Baby Are You?" quiz and so you'll see it here. So stay tuned for that.

Right: paper.

Still waiting on the comments...

spam (damn, if i'd known i could get my B.A. online, i would have)

Tomorrow, I think I'll keep track of how many spam e-mails I get, even though I use Hotmail's Inbox Protector. I will group them into categories (porn, Viagra, credit card approvals) and share them.

Don't forget to comment. You could be immortalized by Poet Laureate of Mind the Gap, Yours Truly!

pathetic (girl with a mission)

The first person who leaves me a comment of some sort will get a page link in the daily journal (not that that really means anything if no one's reading this yet) and a haiku or limerick (your choice) written about him or her. Just tell me your username and one thing about yourself, and which kind of poem you'd like.

the welcome mat (wait, don't leave yet)

I know people are reading this, because of my site meter. I know they're accessing it when it pops up on blogger's main page. So why does it say that my visitors stay for 0 seconds? If you're reading this, tell me why you're inclined to leave just as soon as you get here. Were you expecting porn? That's it, isn't it?

Really, though. The site's not that bad, is it?

becoming... (anyone can do it)

I am completely fascinated by the train wreck that is MTV's "Becoming." If you're unfamiliar with the concept, they take a bunch of average Joes and Josephines and get them to recreate a popular music video. It's an interesting exercise in self-deconstruction, because essentially what MTV is doing is showing that anyone, given the right clothing, makeup, lighting, and choreography, can be an pop star, the likes of which are marketed by MTV. Oh, except for that pesky singing bit. But these days, with Pro Tools and other such mixing devices, singing is just a technicality.

So far I've seen the Backstreet Boys (eww, the abundance of fake facial hair needed to recreate the Boys was appalling), Britney Spears, Destiny's Child, Red Hot Chili Peppers, and that Ricky Martin/Christina Aguilera one. The best, by far, was the Boys. It's that one where they're dancing, wearing all white, in an airport, culminating in a groupie orgy in the hangar. "I Want it That Way," I think it is. (Okay, fine, I own their Millenium CD. It was a very different time, okay?) I didn't think anyone could top the parody Sum 41 did, but MTV has it locked down--though it's an unintentional parody, of course. They hired these wanna-be groupies for the recreation, and the guys playing the Boys were all excited that the girls were there to see them.

Fine, fine, back to the essay.

42 (the solution to all of life's problems)

So I have a paper due tomorrow, and then I'm finished with school for the year. I should be happy, except the paper's only halfway done. It's going to be a long night. Last night I only slept one hour, came home and napped for two hours, and I don't think I'll be sleeping until tomorrow evening.

Sometimes I wish I could just hit 'print' and my essay would come out, fully formed, like Athene from the head of Zeus or something. I have this weird sort of tunnel vision where I envision myself in the future, having completed a difficult task, but can't really envision the steps needed to do it.

In other news, check out this site for a laugh. (You might need to change your connection speed.) Credit to MuchMusic's Ed the Sock for finding this. But, uhm, Ed? I don't want to know how you stumbled upon it.

By the by, if you're reading this, please drop me a comment. Even if it's just to poke fun at Hasselhoff.

Sunday, April 14, 2002

all i need is one mic (to spread my voice to the whole world)

Every time I hear Nas's song "One Mic," I get really inspired about the power of the human voice. Though his lyrics are often misogynistic and violent, there is also great poetry to be found in Nas's words. He's an extremely articulate rapper with more insight into the world than Jay-Z or Eminem could ever hope for. Just the thought of one, quiet voice echoing around the world gives me shivers. The video has some great visuals: people from all different walks of life lip-syncing the chorus, Nas alone in an empty room with his microphone, and plenty of post-apocalyptic imagery. It's the best song he's ever written, I think, and it's one of the reasons I decided to start this blog.

"All I need is one life, one try, one breath, I'm one man
What I stand for speaks for itself..." - Nas

in vino, veritas (i'm not drunk, but i might as well be)


Here's a quick bio, to begin: I'm a 20-year-old English Lit major studying at a major university in British Columbia. One guess as to which one.

I'm a little nervous about starting this whole online persona, because I'm worried someone I know might find it and be scared away after learning about the inner workings of my mind. The truth is, I'm much like Nelson from "The Simpsons" (a favourite show of mine, as you'll soon discover): "a riddle, wrapped in an enigma, wrapped in a vest." Except for the vest. Unless it's cold outside. In which case, yes, I might be inclined to put on a vest.

So, about the name. "Mind the Gap" is really a place for me to explore the intersection between my writing persona and my "real life" one. I often worry that I'm inarticulate, or awkward, and writing has always been a space where I feel neither. I hope this experiment will lead me to bridge the gap within (oh, how corny). Also, I think it's just a really interesting turn of phrase. Whenever I'm waiting to board the Skytrain or the NYC subway train, I always think about what that sign is telling me to do: think about the gap, but not necessarily do anything about it. I mean, yeah, I'm supposed to step over it, but I'd much rather think about it. Boy, this is getting overly abstract and analytical.

Anyway, things "Mind the Gap" is not afflilated with:
-The Gap clothing store (though I do shop there)
-the Genocide Awareness Project (If you're not sure what this is, do a quick Google search. I will never be affiliated with them, and that's all I'll say about that for now.)
-the guy who made (In case you're reading--though you haven't updated in over a year--I didn't steal your idea. I just discovered it when I tried to use the same name.)